Valentine's Day and divorce

I understand why people who are already struggling in their marriage will think about divorce after Valentine's day, especially if it feels like a disappointing day. It may be a light bulb moment for both parties that the marriage is at an end and that divorce is the only way forward. There are lots of enquiries at the beginning of the year, especially after Christmas, and you then get another surge after Valentine's day, as it's another hard time if you have fallen out of love. The reality is that Valentine's day can lead to high expectations for most couples, even happy ones. From experience, I can say that a bad Valentine's day experience can end up being the event that causes the end of a marriage. Even if you don't celebrate Valentine's day and are having a hard time with your spouse, seeing love everywhere can hit you hard.

As it is as easy as sending an email to get a divorce this year, we are expecting to have another rise in divorce enquiries after the emotion of Valentine's Day. Since Christmas, we have had a lot of people contact us, saying "I'm being divorced, what happens next?". The Gov.uk easy online system for starting divorces doesn't provide for the more thorny problems of arrangements for children and money. With the hearts and roses of Valentine's Day everywhere and social media amplifying the happiness and success of others, it will be interesting to see if the trip to the local Italian restaurant with a red rose in a vase really is enough this year.

It is billed as the most romantic day of the year but Valentine's Day, in our experience, can also be an important pressure point for couples experiencing problems in their relationship. For couples who have traditionally celebrated their relationship on Valentine's Day, a partner’s lack of romance can be a strong symbol that something is wrong and a trigger to do something about it. Some may resent the positive images posted on social media of red roses and public shows of affection. For people in a deteriorating relationship, these images may add to feelings of resentment. Rather than a marriage proposal, solicitors often see a rise in divorce enquiries around Valentine's Day from those who feel they are not living happily ever after.

I am expecting to see an increase in divorce enquiries shortly after Valentine’s Day. I had some enquiries for divorce just before Christmas, whereby the individual would choose to revisit the idea after Christmas to see ‘how things were’ during that period. People typically focus on getting through January, both financially and mentally, especially where children are concerned. As a result, they may choose Valentine’s Day as the next ‘make or break’. For some, Valentine’s Day may be used as a chance for their spouse to ‘prove themselves’ and for others, it could be a good opportunity to find the courage to make the decision to divorce. Valentine’s Day is often a self-seeking, hopeful and pressurised 24 hours. If needs and expectations are not met, it could be interpreted in a way that leads a spouse to make that permanent decision.