Valerie is a Menopause and Integrated Trauma Coach, helping women to understand the emotional symptoms of anxiety, low mood and depression experienced in the Menopause.

She is passionate about working with women who have had adult or childhood traumas, suffering from anxiety, depression, menopausal symptoms and generally feel unloved, unimportant, and unworthy and help them to heal their mind and bodies and live the life they deserve. 


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Valerie Clark

THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF THIS CHRISTMAS GET EDUCATED&nbsp; Your parents nor your teachers taught you about the menopause so it's time us women got educated on what happens during this natural transition in your life. Everything you need to know about Midlife and the Menopause will be taught over 4 weeks.&nbsp; It's just 1hr a week, 4 modules. In this 4-week webinar, you will have fun, you will meet lots of other lovely ladies who are in one of the 3 stages of the menopause 1. Perimenopause (can start from 35yrs to average 48yrs) 2. Menopause (average age is 51yrs) 3. Post Menopause (Mid 50's onwards) And you will learn about what is happening to your mind and body, why it's happening and learn how to manage and calm your symptoms down. The training is broken up into 4 modules (1hr each module plus Q&amp;A) Menopause &amp; Wellbeing&nbsp; (We talk about not living in the past, how to stop self-sabotaging, affirmations and getting intentional with life, and how to eliminate stress in midlife) Menopause &amp; Health&nbsp; (We learn about the menopause and the reproductive system, hormones, symptoms, HRT v natural medications and what you can do to help yourself) Menopause &amp; Nutrition&nbsp; (We look at nutrition, stress, hormones, lifestyle, gut issues, phytoestrogens, weight gain and management) Menopause &amp; Psychology&nbsp; (Who are our role models, in managing anxiety in midlife, insomnia, finding humour again, sex, love and intimacy and being kind to yourself) About Me I am Valerie Clark – Integrated Trauma &amp; Menopause Coach, in partnership with Menopause Experts. Check me out at www.valerieclarkcoach.com The training material I provide is up-to-date and follows NICE guidelines The training sessions are informative and have clinical references The education I provide is trusted, accredited, and endorsed by Dr Helena McKeown who is a Director on the Menopause Experts Group board I can provide CPD certification for corporates and clinicians START INVESTING IN YOURSELF, GET EDUCATED ON MIDLIFE &amp; THE MENOPAUSE WHAT YOU NEED Grab your laptop, iPhone or iPad, ear plugs, notebook and pen and your favourite drink and come and join this lovely group of women all experiencing the same symptoms. HOW TO BOOK Book 7, 14, 21 and 28th February out in your diary (If you miss it don’t worry, I will send you the replay so you can watch it on demand). If you book your 4-week online Midlife &amp; Menopause webinar before 31 December 2022 you get it for a SPECIAL OFFER OF £99 (Valued at £480) = for 4 x 1hr modules that's £3.54, less than a cup of coffee a day, great value. You can also book online&nbsp; https://www.valerieclarkcoach.com/menopause-4-week-webinar You will be sent an email confirmation and a link to join the meeting. &nbsp;<blockquote>Get Educated on Midlife &amp; the Menopause, Give Yourself The Best Christmas Present This Year</blockquote>

Give Yourself The Best Christmas Present This Year

Manage the Menopause Overwhelm This Christmas Christmas brings all sorts of emotions with it; some are happy, as families and loved ones get together and for others, it can be a reminder that we don’t have family and loved ones. I always have very mixed feelings about Christmas, I have some childhood traumas that still rear their ugly heads and I have some newer ones that I can’t talk about right now. Only an hour ago I cried as I was organising pressies for my family and grandchildren, I realised how fragile we can be and how our past and present wounds still get triggered and how our minds don’t forget these wounds and traumas. So, it’s about how we handle these situations, how we process trauma and how our minds remember it and try and protect us. So I have just sat down and decided to put pen to paper and give you some top tips to manage overwhelm this Christmas. It’s ok to cry and it’s ok to get angry if you are in control, this is how you regulate yourself and you must do it.&nbsp; There are other ways to do this too, running, and exercising can all help too. If you are midlife and going through menopause Christmas and New Year can be particularly challenging because we are expected to be mum, wife, sister, daughter, chef, present organiser, and food shopper, whilst keeping the lid on our own emotions. If like me, you are menopausal and have a child and adult trauma, the chances of getting through the festivities without a tantrum and full meltdown are slim.&nbsp; So many things are waiting to trigger you and your mind monkeys are in full play.&nbsp; I have still not perfected it, even after therapy, but I recognise practices that help me. Here are some top tips that help me, to get through Christmas and New Year; Engage in positive self-talk If you have experienced trauma as a child or adult, you're ‘go to’ emotion can be, negative self-talk or even self-sabotage. When emotions are heightened, notice how you react to them and try to reframe your response, stop yourself mid-thought and turn it on its head and instead of feeling like you are useless, or worse, try thinking, ‘I am good mum, I am a good person, or I am doing my very best, and I always have. Stop the negative ‘why me?’ what did I do to deserve this?’ This negative thinking is not good for us. Trust me I know! I very often take myself off to the toilet for a good ole blub or a good talking to, just do what you must do to stay in control. One thing that pulls me together is knowing that other people don’t always understand how you truly feel inside, and they may judge you as being miserable I never want anyone to think of me as miserable or feel sorry for me. Engage in things you enjoy Going for walks with your dog, family or children is so good for the soul and your mind, you can clear your head with your new positive thoughts and affirmations. Reading books, listening to uplifting music and even dancing is so good for regulating yourself. Gym, yoga, or exercise is repeatedly proven to uplift the mind and body. Meditation is great for sitting with your emotions and blending with them, it can be calming, therapeutic, and empowering, even just 5 minutes of quiet time.&nbsp; Doing things, you love is also an important way to reconnect with yourself and regulate your mind and body, those adult colouring books are so good for occupying your mind in times of stress. Journaling Since studying Positive Psychology, I have learnt the benefits of journaling, I do it at night. I brain dump everything I did for the day and then write down jobs I need to do for the following day, I find this clears my mind before I sleep.&nbsp; You will find there are thoughts and emotions in your subconscious that come to the fore, and it will help you regulate by accepting these and then writing them down. Clear your mind before bedtime. Sleep It is so important to get enough sleep, along with eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly. We feel so much better when our bodies are healthy, and our minds are rested.&nbsp; Tiredness can make us grumpy and lead to negative thoughts and then a downward spiral. I see this in my little granddaughter. Try to think and behave positively&nbsp; We meet people in our lives who are always positive, have happy demeanours, always laughing and it can become infectious if you hang around with them long enough. Try to surround yourself with positive family and friends, get rid of toxic relationships,&nbsp; I think of it as not losing friends and family but making way for new friendships, people who will add to your life instead of taking away.&nbsp; It took me many years to believe this because I always felt devastated if I had a fallout with someone, but it is in our nature to focus on the negatives, so making a habit of recognising the positives can be a breakthrough for emotional well-being. Be kind to yourself, women particularly, find this difficult to do, we beat ourselves up most of the time.&nbsp; Sit and process how you feel in different scenarios and then decide to process it and you will feel so much better about yourself. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself this Christmas &nbsp;<blockquote>Be Patient and Kind To Yourself This Christmas</blockquote>

Top Tips to Managing Midlife & Menopause Overwhelm This Christmas

If England lose the World Cup domestic violence is predicted to increase by 38% Can you believe this, what kind of world are we living in? It’s an uncomfortable question but it must be asked, would you know if one of your family or friends were being abused in the home or workplace? It is an uncomfortable subject, it has so much stigma around it, but it must be spoken about both in the home and in the workplace, we cannot brush it under the carpet anymore. Are you watching the football? Here in the UK as highlighted by the current combination of the cost-of-living crisis, which has reduced women’s ability to leave controlling, abusive and violent situations, alongside the football World Cup, which sadly has been reported to potentially increase incidents of domestic violence by 38% if England lose and&nbsp; by 26% when they win. Seriously ? Facts: 📌There are 2.3 million victims of domestic abuse each year, 2/3rds of whom are women, 1/3rd are men.&nbsp; 📌2 in 10 offences recorded by the police are domestic abuse related.&nbsp; 📌2 women each week and 1 man each month are killed in England and Wales by a current or former partner.&nbsp; 📌Domestic abuse, which can take the form of physical and emotional abuse, is a huge problem for many women and we must all ensure that we encourage your employees to report this. 📌1 in 4 employees are bullied in the workplace and it’s not always overt, it can continue over a long period of time Watch out for abuse in the workplace and home ❤️Change in a person’s daily lifestyle&nbsp; ❤️Change in a person’s work pattern and productivity&nbsp; ❤️Change in behaviour, i.e., disassociation, isolating, anxious, tearful, or depressed. Be mindful this may also be symptoms of the menopause ❤️Physical indicators could include visible bruising or change of clothing style i.e. wearing long sleeves in the Summer may be to hide injuries. ❤️Women flinching when a colleague suddenly moves&nbsp; Many women who face domestic abuse already experience economic control by their abuser. This financial disadvantage means these women face further barriers when trying to leave, recover and rebuild their lives after abuse.&nbsp; The soaring cost of living compounds this crisis, making it even harder for women to escape abuse because financial pressure has shown to make the incidences and severity of domestic abuse escalate. Research by Women’s Aid highlights that 96% of victims say that the cost-of-living crisis is making their abuse worse, and 73% of victims say they are scared to leave their abusive home because of fears over finance.&nbsp; Those who do leave face an uphill battle to find accommodation, as most refuges are full. I’m not going to ramble on, but I am on one this morning, because this just triggers me.&nbsp; We need to get further education on domestic violence, bullying, the behaviours of narcissists, and midlife women and the menopause, both in the home and the workplace, those that are being abused need to able to come forward without being shamed or judged and it's up to us to help this change.&nbsp; If you are being abused, bullied or living with a narcissist, please contact me for a FREE discovery call and let’s get some sessions into play so that you don’t take your past into the New Year 2023. I am here for you; I hear you and I believe you. I will be launching a 6-week Narcissist Recovery Programme in the new year, so use the contact form and I will put you on the waitlist.&nbsp; https://www.valerieclarkcoach.com/contact-1 E: valerie@valerieclarkcoach.com &nbsp;<blockquote>Don't Suffer Abuse Because of Football or The Economic Downturn'</blockquote>

If England Lose the World Cup, Many Women Will Suffer

Don’t Get Gaslit This Christmas Have you ever been told that you are being too sensitive? Or how about ‘stop imagining things? In my world of trauma this is called ‘gaslighting’, its what narcissists do. This part of narcissism is personal to me, and I really want you to understand how damaging this can be because it can destroy you if you don’t stop it. It’s important to understand this behaviour in a narcissist because if you understand what is being said to you, and how you are being manipulated, you can learn to live with it or decide to move on. The problem with gaslighting is that it can leave you with no self-esteem or confidence, it can make you self-sabotage and second guess everything you do and everything they do to you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Gaslighting is abuse, it’s not physical or visible but it can be devastating and very painful, it can cause extreme anxiety and depression,&nbsp; Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological abuse and many parameters to it, including gaslighting, which make you doubt your own perception of reality. When I was married previously, it caused me so much anxiety because I felt like I need to clarify and confirm to family and friends that it wasn’t me, it was him, but he was so good at convincing people that I was suffering from post-natal depression when in fact it was because he was distorting the real facts, lying and cheating. Your go to reaction is to blame yourself, especially if you have just had children and feeling so vulnerable.&nbsp; Now I know what I know, I ask myself these questions.&nbsp; • How could I have been so stupid?! • Why did I not know about gaslighting and narcissism? • Why didn’t I speak out and tell people what was really going on? • Why didn’t I stand up to him or leave sooner? Do you recognise any of these behaviours, has this happened to you and do you recognise these gaslighting phases? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ • You are imagining things • Don’t be so sensitive • You are upset over nothing • Theirs is always an issue with you • You need to get help • Here we go again, always something with you • No one likes you; everyone says it’s you • I never said that, why do you always twist things? • There is always a drama with you • I was only joking, why can’t you take a joke? • I didn’t say that I didn’t do that So, this is a brief summary of gaslighting in partner relationships, and Christmas is time when tensions can run high, there is a high expectation that Christmas should be a happy family time but when you live with, or have a relationship with a narcissist, nothing can be further from the truth. Stop being their supply and live the life you deserve in 2023. Pop into my FREE safe and private group and join our community&nbsp; https://www.facebook.com/groups/whathappenedtoyou &nbsp;<blockquote>Don't get gaslit this Christmas Don't take your past, into the new year 2023, Stand up for yourself this Christmas, you owe it to yourself.</blockquote>

Don't Take Your Past with You into The New Year

Valerie is a Menopause and Integrated Trauma Coach, helping women to understand the emotional symptoms of anxiety, low mood and depression experienced in the Menopause. She is passionate about working with women who have had adult or childhood traumas, suffering from anxiety, depression, menopausal symptoms and generally feel unloved, unimportant, and unworthy and help them to heal their mind and bodies and live the life they deserve.

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