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Who did Dad promise the watch to? Financial planner says forgotten family promises can cause years of heartache

Journalist: Scott Gallacher, Newspage Newsdesk

ended 06. August 2026

Scott Gallacher, Chartered Financial Planner, author of 50 Today 100 Tomorrow and founder of the 100 Tomorrow project, is encouraging families to talk openly about treasured possessions before misunderstandings arise.

“The biggest inheritance disagreements aren’t always about money,” he says. “They’re often about the things people believed had already been promised to them.”

A casual comment such as, “One day, that’ll be yours,” can carry enormous emotional weight. But over twenty or thirty years, the person making the promise may forget the conversation—or unknowingly make the same promise to someone else.

Neither family member is necessarily being dishonest. Both may genuinely believe the item was promised to them.

“People don’t usually set out to create family conflict,” says Gallacher. “These situations arise because life is long. Conversations are forgotten, circumstances change and assumptions build up over decades.”

Unlike financial assets, sentimental possessions may have limited monetary value but enormous emotional significance.

“The argument is rarely about what the object is worth,” he says. “It’s about what it represents.”

Gallacher believes many misunderstandings can be reduced through earlier conversations and clearer written intentions.

“If there is a particular item you hope will go to someone one day, tell your family. It may also be sensible to record your wishes clearly and discuss them with the solicitor preparing your Will. The important thing is not to leave everyone guessing.”

To help families do this, Gallacher has created his own Promised Gifts Log: a simple record of possessions that have been promised, who they have been promised to, and any story or reason behind the decision.

“The log isn’t intended to replace a Will or legal advice,” he says. “It is a practical way to stop an important conversation being forgotten and to give families a clearer record of what was intended.”

Gallacher has explored the issue further in a new article for 100 Tomorrow, which examines how longer lives, changing family relationships and forgotten promises can complicate what people leave behind.

“The conversations that feel slightly awkward today may be the ones your family is most grateful you had.”

Questions for comment

  • Are disputes over sentimental possessions more common than people realise?
  • Why can relatively low-value possessions provoke such strong disagreements?
  • What practical steps can families take to reduce misunderstandings?
  • Would a Promised Gifts Log help, and what should it contain?
  • Should wishes concerning individual possessions be recorded separately as well as addressed through a Will?
  • Have you encountered a case where two people genuinely believed they had been promised the same item?

Looking for comments and experiences from

Solicitors, Will writers, probate specialists, financial planners, mediators, family law experts and people with relevant personal experience.

5 responses from the Newspage community

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Editor
Scott GallacherVerified
Director at Rowley Turton
A Will can say who inherits the estate, but it rarely records who was promised Dad’s watch, Mum’s jewellery or Grandad’s guitar. Those are often the promises families remember differently. That’s why I created a Promised Gifts Log—not legally binding, but simple, practical and easy to use.

The link to the log is: https://www.100tomorrow.com/s/100_Tomorrow_Collection_06_Promised_Gifts_Log.pdf
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Editor
Rob MansfieldVerified
Independent Financial Advisor at Rootes Wealth Management
If it's not written down, it didn't happen, is such a great adage. If your possessions are being divided up, it's because you're no longer with us and so all your family have to go by is any instructions you've left them. A promise years ago can easily be forgotten or misremembered. Situations like this can also bring out the worst in some family members and so being as clear as you can and documenting your wishes all help guard against that.
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Editor
Harvey DhillonVerified
Founder & CEO at Zmartly
A will splits money, which divides neatly. It does not split the watch on Dad's wrist. That is where families fall out.

These rows are more common than the figures suggest, because most never get counted. Ministry of Justice figures show 127 contested probate cases in the High Court in England and Wales in 2025. Only the ones that reach the High Court appear at all. Every argument settled in a kitchen, or never settled, is invisible.

The reason low-value things cause the worst trouble is that nobody is arguing about the money. They are arguing about who was closest to the person who died.

So say it out loud while everyone is in the room, then write it down. A log helps. List the item, who gets it, the reason, and the date. The date matters, because the same thing does get promised twice over thirty years.

Keep the log beside the will, not instead of it. Only the will carries legal force.

Write it down while you can still ask the person what they meant.
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Editor
Nouran MoustafaVerified
Practice Principal & IFA at Roxton Wealth
Sentimental possessions can cause more conflict than cash because families are not arguing over market value; they are arguing over memory, identity and what they believed the relationship meant. A £200 watch can carry more emotional weight than a £20,000 investment.

The practical answer is to remove ambiguity early. Discuss important items openly, record who should receive them and why, and make sure those wishes do not contradict the Will. A Promised Gifts Log is a strong idea, but it should include a clear description or photograph of the item, the intended recipient, the date, the reason and confirmation that the decision can be reviewed if circumstances change.

It should support, not replace, properly drafted legal documents. Families should also revisit the record after major life events. The worst approach is relying on decades-old conversations and expecting grieving relatives to reconstruct someone’s intentions fairly.
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Editor
David StirlingVerified
Independent Financial Adviser at Mint Wealth
Disputes over sentimental possessions come up more often than people expect and almost always follow the same pattern. A promise made casually over Sunday lunch thirty years ago, genuinely meant at the time, either forgotten or repeated to someone else without realising it. Nobody is being dishonest. Life is just long, and the person who could settle it is no longer available to do so. The argument is never really about the object. It is about what the object represents, and that is a much harder thing to divide fairly.

The practical answer is to write it down while you still can. A letter of wishes alongside a Will, or a simple record of what you intend to leave to whom and why, removes the guesswork that causes lasting family damage. The why matters as much as the what. These conversations feel uncomfortable before someone dies, but they feel considerably worse after.