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Parents, are you sacrificing your own retirement to support your adult children?

Journalist: Scott Gallacher, Newspage Newsdesk

ended 02. July 2026

Many parents are happy to support their adult children financially, whether that means letting them live at home rent-free, helping with bills, or covering everyday expenses. But how many are properly considering the long-term cost to their own future?

While researching my forthcoming book, 50 Today, 100 Tomorrow, I’ve become increasingly interested in a question many families are now facing: how much should parents sacrifice to help their adult children financially?

I’m looking for comments from financial advisers, other experts, parents and anyone with experience of supporting adult children.

Some questions to consider:

  • Are more parents delaying retirement because they're continuing to financially support adult children?
  • How do you strike the balance between helping your children and protecting your own financial future?
  • Should parents charge board, or is free accommodation simply part of modern family life?
  • Have you seen families underestimate the financial impact of prolonged support?
  • Is the "Bank of Mum and Dad" becoming unsustainable?

 

2 responses from the Newspage community

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Editor
Scott GallacherVerified
Director at Rowley Turton
I charge my adult sons board, not because I need the money, but because I want them to understand that living independently comes with costs. It also reminds me that continuing to subsidise adult children isn't free. Every pound I spend supporting them is a pound that can't be invested towards my own retirement.

As a Chartered Financial Planner, I often see parents focusing on their children's financial future while overlooking the impact on their own. The Bank of Mum and Dad can be invaluable, but it shouldn't become an open-ended commitment that quietly delays financial independence.

In my own financial plan, a year's worth of board payments has roughly the same effect as bringing my retirement forward by around two months. That won't be true for everyone, but it illustrates an important point: every financial decision involves a trade-off. Helping adult children is often the right thing to do, but parents should make it a conscious choice, understanding the long-term cost as well
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Editor
Nouran MoustafaVerified
Practice Principal & IFA at Roxton Wealth
The Bank of Mum and Dad comes from love, but love becomes expensive when nobody is brave enough to put a boundary around it.

We see parents helping with deposits, rent, bills and children who move back home, often while quietly delaying pension contributions, debt repayment or retirement. The danger is not helping. It is helping without asking: “What does this cost me at 70, 75 or 80?”

Parents should never sacrifice long-term security to solve a short-term problem. Adult children may need support, but they also need to understand money, contribute where they can and build resilience. Charging board is not harsh; it can teach someone how real life works, especially if part is saved for them.

Every family is different, but the conversation must happen early. Help should be intentional, affordable and time-bound. Nobody wants to become a burden on their children later because they spent decades protecting them from every financial difficulty now.