Hidden costs of caring

Yes, I am seeing care for parents becoming a bigger financial planning issue. People are living longer, but families are not prepared for what that means: care costs, reduced working hours, emotional pressure, siblings disagreeing, and adult children suddenly becoming financial administrators for parents who never shared details.
The biggest pain point is that care planning usually starts in crisis. A parent has a fall, loses capacity, needs home adaptations or paid support, and the family is forced to make expensive decisions quickly. That is when missing LPAs, unclear pensions, savings, property questions and inheritance tensions collide.
Carers also pay a hidden cost. It is not just money spent; it is income lost, promotions missed, pensions affected and burnout. We talk about childcare far more openly than eldercare, but eldercare is becoming just as disruptive.
Families need earlier conversations, LPAs, clear records and realistic care planning before the emergency happens. Now

It is worth noting that while overall UK life expectancy has edged up modestly since 2019, healthy life expectancy has fallen. The latest ONS data shows males can now expect 60.7 years in "good" general health and females 60.9 years decreases of 1.8 and 2.5 years respectively compared with 2019 to 2021. People are not necessarily living longer, they are spending more of later life in poorer health, which directly drives care demand. I work with clients whose wealth means funding care is not the central pressure point. What is striking is that financial capacity does not insulate families from the emotional and organisational dimensions of caring for an unwell parent that remains profoundly difficult regardless of resources.

As someone who supported a parent through cancer treatment and witnessed ageing grandparents and elders needing increasing care, I have seen first-hand how quickly families can fall into crisis when there has been little planning, communication or transparency. In many families, the responsibility of care can inadvertently fall onto one child or family member, often while balancing demanding careers, children and rising living costs themselves. Stress and uncertainty can also sometimes lead to more domineering family dynamics, where decisions around care, finances or support are controlled by one or a small number of people rather than discussed openly. Too often, important decisions happen in crisis, leaving little room for proper planning or the elderly person’s own wishes and dignity. Families need earlier, more honest conversations and clearer access to support before situations become overwhelming.

Today’s people in their 50s and 60s — the so-called sandwich generation — are probably under more pressure than any similar generation in recent times. Many are simultaneously supporting elderly parents who are living longer and increasingly needing care, while also continuing to help adult children who are struggling to get onto the property ladder or move out due to housing costs. People are also having children later in life, meaning many move almost directly from the pressures of work into a retirement split between caring for elderly parents and helping with grandchildren, often with little real opportunity to rest or enjoy the retirement they worked decades to achieve. Financial pressures are then compounded by emotional stress, work pressures and the sheer organisational burden of trying to coordinate care, finances and family responsibilities all at once.